“The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.”
~ Buffy the Vampireslayer
It’s easy to become disheartened by the struggles of indie filmmaking and low-incomehood.
It’s easy to look at all that you don’t have and dwell on that.
It’s easy to look at what others have and be envious, to feel like the stepchild
to be consumed with the “what about me” factor.
I have to confess, I’ve been dealing with some stuff over the past few months.
Not just about how the hell I’m gonna pay for this film
It’s been a serious emotional roller coaster for several reasons
and I’m one of those people that believes
if you let go of your pain, you are doomed to be nailed the same way again,
because if you dropped your guard, your… my love and kindness will be abused again.
if you dont forget, you havent forgiven… right?
I guess that makes me very very slow to forgive
call it the cost of allowing people into your life and heart
the cost of doing business within the human race
pain and disappointment are the price of living
So part of me wants to move on, embracing betrayal as par for the course
But most of me never wants to be a person who becomes accustomed to disappointment
“Mourn the losses because they are many;
but celebrate the victories because they are so few.”
~ Debbie Novotny
Sixty-three people have supported me in funding BETTER HALF, 63 and counting
half of those people I will never meet, folks who are continents away
I can’t do anything about the faith I’ve lost in people who have failed me
But for those people who have put their faith to me,
the trust and goodwill that has been extended to me, a stranger…
for those folks I must embrace gratitude over how wounded I feel
my reasons for making this film have changed
for 63 of you, it is about your faith in me
and your desire to see this story told one day
But for me, my “devoted 63”, it’s now all about YOU.